Friday, November 22, 2013

Being a mom is hard. Real talk.

Friday, November 22, 2013
Being a mom is hard.
A million times harder than you would think.

Its hard when you finally have a routine down that works, and then its time for a new phase and you have to start all over again.

Its hard to put someone else needs first before any of yours. With no breaks or rests to worry about yourself.

Its hard to live on no sleep. bleck. The worst. Waking up still feeling exhausted and drained from the day before, then having to do it all over again.

Its hard when you feel like the whole world is on your shoulders. Like you need to take care of a baby, have the house cleaned, dinner ready, and somehow find time to eat lunch. And if you are lucky MAYBE squeeze a 5 minute shower in there. That's on a really good day.

Its hard when other moms try to tell you how 'their baby sleeps all through the night' or how 'their baby doesn't need to be rocked to sleep.' or my favorite 'your baby still sleeps in your room?" yes my baby sleeps next to my bed....who am I kidding, my baby is sleeping in bed with me 80% of the time and we love it.

Its hard to sleep when she's not right there with me. With her yummy baby smell and her playing with my hair while she falls asleep.

Its hard to read all of these doctors claiming the perfect way you should be raising your kids and realizing you aren't doing any of that, because it doesn't work for your baby.

Its hard to let go of trying to be perfect all the time, and just do what works for you at that moment. I read the best quote over today over at Jessica's blog...
"who cares if you don't have a catalog house.  who cares if you need antidepressants.  who cares if you don't wear makeup except on sundays.  who cares if your baby isn't wearing suede fringed moccasins or if you don't fulfill all of your pinterest dreams.  guess what?  just be you and be happy with you."

Its hard when it takes over an hour to get your crying baby to sleep and then she wakes up 15 minutes later.

Its hard, its all just hard.

But the hardest thing of all, is imagining that I didn't get to see this whiny, bratty, perfect baby girl all day everyday. She has changed my life 100% and made it so overwhelming and exhausting but I wouldn't give it up, even for a day. This smile makes it all worth it. And just when I think I've reached my limit, she always manages to put a smile on my face. Being a mom is the greatest feeling ever.


23 comments:

  1. My husband is home a ton so I'm lucky but as soon as he is out of the army and working, that is going to change big time. I'm terrified of how exhausted I'm going to be because I already feel tired all the time and like I'm never on top of everything that needs to get done during the day

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  2. It is hard. SOOO hard. Worth it? Of course, but still hard.

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  3. "Its hard to read all of these doctors claiming the perfect way you should be raising your kids and realizing you aren't doing any of that, because it doesn't work for your baby."

    What works for you baby, is perfect. :)

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  4. I completely get where you're coming from. No one tells you how hard it can be. Everyone has their own definition of "right". Last night My daughter, Emily, was wide awake at 2am! I was so frustrated because she would NOT go to sleep. Then she started smiling and cooing =) That led me to write this post this morning:
    http://this-unscripted-life.blogspot.com/2013/11/put-books-down.html

    I also have a 7 year old son. It's still hard parenting him sometimes. The situations just change. You're not dealing with eating and sleeping issues anymore. Now you worry about bullies, strangers, does he feel left out, how should I discipline him... I'm not sure it ever gets easy but it's always worth it =)

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  5. Oh, Mama. I have soooooo been there. I'm still there some days and my baby is 12 months old. I remember reading all of these books in the beginning that said she should be able to fall asleep on her own and I should NOT nurse her to sleep EVER, and I DEFINITELY shouldn't let her sleep with me. Those things just create bad habits! I cried and cried because I felt like a terrible mother when really, I was just doing what worked. My husband was deployed and if I wanted to keep my sanity I had to nurse her to sleep and sometimes let her sleep with me and guess what? She weaned herself from that and will now put herself to sleep! The books told me that would never ever ever happen if I continued to do what I was doing. The books aren't always right ;) You sound like a wonderful mother! Keep doing what works! It will all get better eventually :)

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  6. That was really sweet and REAL, and I love that about you. I'm so excited/nervous/soaking up all the "me time" (aka long showers!) that I can before Baby arrives!! This weirdly got me even more excited for him/her to be here! :)

    xo

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  7. Kristen, I can relate so well with this. Thank you so much for sharing! I am also in the middle of all of these things- no sleep, no showers, no dinner ready at 6pm, no laundry folded. But it's SO worth it, isn't it!?! My son is 6 months, and still wakes 4+ times a night. We have tried everything, but the only thing that he likes is to nursed to sleep. He is also still in our room, and ends up in bed with us more often than not. You are doing a GREAT job! And there is no perfect or "right" way to do things. It's all what works for you and your family.

    I just found you on Instagram, and am excited to follow along with you and your darling family:)

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  8. my moms in germany right now and were supposed to be there too and I'm so mad because i want to hang out so bad!!!
    and yes to sleeping in my room. pretty sure i might try to bribe crue into sleeping in my room until he's 10. and then i might even be his first college roommate… ok maybe I'm lying about the second one. maybe.

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  9. My little man is almost 3 weeks and I can already sooo relate to this. actually, I was able to relate after day 1. I was not prepared for how hard being a mom is. I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park, sleep would be affected and I wouldn't have the "me time" I was so used to, but whoa, so much more overwhelming than I could even imagine. Not more than 5 minutes before reading your post I was in tears because I am just so drained- body, boobs, brain. But, like you said, I can't imagine life without this little guy. I just wish dear fiance could take over some of the feedings :) LOL

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  10. I love how honest you were in this post!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  11. Liam doesn't sleep through the night. He slept in our room all the time until he was six months, and now he sleeps in our bed after he wakes up [and after I've gone to bed]. I put him in his jumper and take long showers and let him cry because I need that break sometimes. I don't listen to or read what doctors say I/he should be doing. My house is usually messy and sometimes I barricade Liam in the living room and turn on cartoons just so I can wash the dishes. You have to do what works for you and not worry about what other people think/are doing. Just do what works for you and don't stress out about it. Mila loves you and that's what matters. =]

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  12. I'm not gonna lie. Our late night (for me in California) Facebook chats have kept me sane some nights. Love ya! From one mama whose baby sleeps in the same room as her to another.

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  13. I seriously could have written this myself. I love everything about it. I break SO many "rules" with G, but I do what works for us. I spend 90% of my time in sweat pants with my hair in a ratty ponytail and try desperately to keep my house somewhat organized...and for a long time I felt like I was going to crack under all the pressure of trying to be perfect. The older he gets, the more I realize that is completely impossible, and as long as I have a healthy, happy baby, then forget all the rest. LOVE your honesty so so much.

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  14. Yes, yes, yes... We are all just doing the best we can!
    My babe is 6 months. He is almost too long for his bassinet but I am not about to get out of bed, much less leave my bedroom in the middle of the night when he wakes up. I have to go to work in the morning! He did sleep through the night for a few weeks back when he was 3-4 months old. haha, what a wonderful few weeks that was! Now that's over. Lately he has been up 2 or more times a night and basically sleeps next to me and is on and off the boob from about 4am until I have to get up to get ready. He's not much of a daytime napper, either.
    I feel like a zombie pretty much every day, all day. (And sometimes I am secretly a tiny bit glad when the weekend is over just so I can get a mental break from being ON POINT, ALL THE TIME, 24HRS.)
    I guess nobody ever said it would be easy, huh? But... I wouldn't change it for the world, either. :-)

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  15. Oh my god. Seriously, I can relate to every single word. Being a mama is the hardest, most exhausting job on the face of the planet. There is just no way to explain it, and nothing can prepare you for it. I thought I understood what moms meant when they said it's a 24 hour a day job, but I had no clue what that actually meant. No sick days, no days off, no freaking lunch breaks! And most of the time I don't even have time for a shower because I have a baby who hates to nap. And with all that said, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. So bizarre. Thanks for your honesty girly. No one wants to read about sunshine and roses all the time.

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  16. All of this is so true!
    You just do yo thang.
    I love this.. and i love you, you little milf :)

    xoxo
    Sarai

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  17. shes suuuuper adorable! power to you girl! (im not a mom, but figured id send a little good vibes over)

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  18. "just be you and be happy with you" I love that line! And I've always figured that most of the best stuff in life is the hard stuff.

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  19. That is amazing advice that I think we all learn the hard way. It doesn't make the job easier but it does take the pressure off for sure!

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  20. I'm not married and I don't have children but this made me tear up. You've got one beautiful little girl there. You do good work. ;)

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  21. It really is! I love this post! And your little girl is adorable! I am doing a giveaway today and would love if you would stop by and check it out! http://www.thediaryofarealhousewife.blogspot.com/

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